I want to give up. I want quit from my university. I want to run away from all of this. I can’t stand any longer. I want to be alone, with Allah. I’ve done so many sins. I can feel that I’m getting far from Allah. I’m so disappointed with myself. I had through this feeling before, and I can heal myself from it. But why now I can’t find the same way I’ve healed myself back then. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I want to give up.! I’m so sick for all of this problem. It’s hurt enough.
My dad always reminds me, don’t ever whining with all the thing that I’m doing because everyone experiences the same situation. There’s no point for us to says that we are are tired, because the result still the same. But for once in my lifetime, I could says that, I’m so freakin tired with myself. I hate myself. !! I need to heal myself.
I need to pull back myself together. Allah always be with me. I should feel grateful because I’m alive. A lot of people out there didn’t have what I have now. Please don’t says that you are sick with your life. Allah knows better than you, Atiqah. Be stronger! Yes! Allah is my strength. I live because of Allah. Thanks to Allah for giving me this kind of situation. I need to discover what are the thing that Allah wanted to show to me. I feel thankful and proud because I’m muslim. Islam had thought me a lot of things. I could commit to suicide;the easier way to get rid of this kind of problem I had now. But Islam had thought me that for whom we live, what are the purpose of life. yes. I’m proud that I’m a MUSLIM.
I love Allah. I love Muhammad. I love Islam. I love Sunnah. I love Quran Al-Karim. I must think positive. Everything happens for reason with a meaningful results. Stay strong! You can do it Atiqah! Yahh! I can do , I know I’m the best for myself. Takes everything as a lesson. InsyaAllah, Allah will guides you. =’]
I don’t like this feeling. I don’t know how to describe this feeling. I don’t know why I should thinking about it. Why he suddenly came at the time that feeling almost vanished in my life. Why?? I don’t love him. Seriously I don’t have any feeling towards him. Waiting for him was nothing. The results was hurting. I’m so sick being hurt by his love. I can’t wait anymore. But why??? Why I kept thinking about him. Why his love still in my heart. He didn’t love me. No more love for me.
What should I do? I’m almost away from his love but why that feeling still stuck in my heart. I don’t love him. I don’t love him. I don’t love him. I don’t love him. Even if I says that for millions time, that feeling still in my heart. Hurmmm~ Let it be. Hope someday, I found someone that I could love as much as him. InsyaAllah. Allah always be with me.
So long I didn’t updated my tumblr. Since I left my korean world, there’s nothing much to share in my tumblr. yahh. I already away from my korean world. No korean thingy, no more korean korean korean. Don’t ask me why. Haha.
Love? What is love? Unconditional feeling that u never realized when it’s come and go. Haha. So funny, I’m talking about love right now. Yah. So sick been in love, and the result was hurting, regret, and hmm, boring?
I admit that I’m so scared to be in love and I couldn’t imagine how I’m gonna be someone’s girlfriend. I’m afraid that I might be hurt as before. Gahh. So hate those feeling. Yahh. My heart is empty for now. Still waiting and seeking my true love. No more CHILI, no more ALAM, no more KIMCHI,no more PULUT, just naming who they are, yah still the result is ZERO!
I’m just sick to be in love. My heart just empty! My love only for Allah. But still, I’m still looking forward a love from a guy. Someone that can protect my heart and can heal my wounds. Wherever or whoever he is, I’m still waiting for that guy. Maybe not for now, I’m not hoping or desperate, I’m just waiting when the time is right for me to think about it deeply.InsyaAllah.
I admit that I’m too fussy and picky. But it doesn’t mean that I’m only looking for good-looking or rich guy (Haha). Something special about that guy makes my heart move. gahhh. I like bad boy; almost all of the guys that I’ve love was a bad boy, I don’t know why I’ve love them. Huhu. I promise myself to not return to someone that hurt me before and I don’t want to give him a chances even if he change or accept me for who I am. I’m so sick of waiting and hurting. Enough is enough. huhu. Sorry, I can’ wait anymore. Alam~~ Huuuu~
I believe that someday, I found him; my soul mate, true love. I don’t have to think about it for now, I still have a long way to go. I’ve list down the criteria that I want from someone that could be my future husband. I’m still seeking for that person. I’ve found him, just he’s not enough for me. He already taken. Huu~ Chili~ It’s really hurt.
Why I love bad boy? They are not that bad actually. They are nice yet sweet and never take me as a granted. Allah still can accept them, all of their faults. No one is perfect and everyone just chasing to be perfect.
Those are my future husband criteria (hahahaha XD) :
Religious
Loving
Caring
Trustworthy
Patience
Mommy’s son
Bad boy image (hehe)
Sweet voice
Tall
Cold <3
Last but not least, love me for me. =’D
Though that no one could fulfill this criteria, I know, Allah choose someone that is better for me and my life. I believe that if we love someone because of Allah, insyaAllah, Allah will guides our heart and love only for Allah. Though no one love me, but I still have Allah. =] ❤
Such a jerk! Huh. . I don’t want to believe any of your promises from now on. . Never! Never! Never! Please mark my word. . I’m so freakin tired of waiting and the result was nothing. .I’m counting the days just because I wanted to see you! But why?? Why you doing this to me!!! You always hurts me!!! You never heal my wounds!!! I thought you were my best friend, but all I know for now, YOU ARE NOTHING TO ME! AND SEEM THAT I WAS NOTHING TO YOU TOO.! I DON’T WANT TO CRY BUT WHY I’M CRYING NOW!!!!
